Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Randomize
