I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
