Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
I showed him my bush... on skype.
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
He shit in the fireplace
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Randomize
