at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
You ate ashes out of my bong
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
