dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
Randomize
