D3 body, D1 cock
Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
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