My first STD was from a foam party
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Randomize
