dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
