The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize
