Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Randomize
