How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Randomize
