My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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