Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
love makes seman taste better
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
