you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
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