I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
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