Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize