you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
