I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize
