Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
