Is it normal to miss your booty call?
At least make sure they are 18
Why
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
