This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
Randomize
