New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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