I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize
