I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
Randomize
