I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
