Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
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