the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
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