NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Randomize
