Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
i think my tv is drunk
We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
Randomize
