Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
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