Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
She just used a chaser for red wine.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
As shirtless as possible
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
