I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
how do you play pong handcuffed?
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
