I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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