Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
