"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
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