im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
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