I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
