belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
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