Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
