Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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