Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
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