wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
