Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Randomize
