We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
