True but thats because hes a fetus.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
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