Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Randomize
