i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
