No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
Randomize
