Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
Alive.
So much puke
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
how drunk are you?
Several
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
