I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
